Running Feelings

Lately, I’ve been thinking of all the different emotions that come with running. I’ve been a “runner” for a year. I know…I know it’s not very long. I used to hate running. I remember in Jr. High they would have us run a mile during P.E. My friends and I would try to act cool and walk most of it. I don’t know why we thought that was cool. I had a friend that loved to run and she was good at it too. She would always finish before most of the class. After awhile we started making fun of her and would yell things like…”Run Mirella Run” You know like Forest Gump. I guess she got tired of it because she then started walking with us. I wish I could take that back…maybe have been a better friend and supported her. I think the reason I hated running was because I wasn’t good at it. Now that i’ve been running my feelings have changed completely. I’ve learned to appreciate and love running. It takes dedication and patience. I’m glad that a year ago a friend was telling me about the half marathon she planned on running. I remember getting really excited and wanting to learn more about it. I’m glad that I changed my mind and tried running again. My first run was horrible. I couldn’t even run a mile. At that point I had already been working out for over a year. I thought that I was in good shape. I started crying and freaking out that I wouldn’t be able to run the half with my friend. Craig of course calmed me down and told me that it was going to take time. So I started off slowly. I would run then walk…then start running again. After awhile I was able to run 6 miles straight without stopping. That was a great feeling. A week before our half marathon I was oh so nervous. I think I even made myself sick. I kept picturing the worst things happening and me not being able to finish. I didn’t have a goal time in mind since it was my first…I just wanted to finish. I did. We did. It was AWESOME. It felt so much better than what I had imagined. When I look at my pictures and watch the videos Craig made for me…I still can’t help but get tears in my eyes.
Now on Sunday is my 2nd Half Marathon and here I am…nervous again. I know what to expect but i’m still picturing the worst. I’ve trained for this so I don’t know why I am so nervous. I wonder if all runners feel this way before a race. I know my friend Cristina is feeling the same way. We were talking about our feelings this morning…that’s what brought this blog on. I guess there is a lot of feelings when it comes to running. Hate, frustration, anger, happiness, joy, satisfaction, defeat….the list goes on. I just know that all these feelings bad or good are all worth it. I love running. What it has done for my mind and body. I thank Diana for opening my eyes to something new. Craig for always being there and putting up with my craziness. Also for being my personal paparazzi. =) My sisters for showing up at 5 in the morning for my 5k’s or half marathons…when I know they haven’t even gone to sleep. LOL. Cristina for being my tough love sister.
Here we go again people……there’s is still more to come.

Have a great day!

Betty

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