This morning I went for a 5 mile run. I have to admit that I was really really nervous. We ate breakfast and sat down for a bit before getting ready. As I sat there staring at the t.v. I thought to myself….. WHY DO I DO THIS?!! I know that I love to run but it’s so much work. LOL. During the summer I have to wake up super early because I live in A.Z. and I don’t want to run with the sun laughing at me. During the winter my back is yelling at me because I tend to tense it up when I’m cold. I knew the answer to my own question but sometimes I forget.
I was nervous because although 5 miles may not be very long, it is my longest run in 2 months. It felt like it was my first time. I even told Craig that we should’ve ran on the treadmill because running outside made it more official for me for some reason. I’ve been running outside and at the gym but it hasn’t been 5 miles. I was worried that my knee would start to hurt and I SO didn’t want that to happen. I feel like I’m finally starting to feel back to normal and I was scared that this would put me back where I was. I think getting injured kind’ve made me feel helpless. I guess in some way I felt like I had everything under control before. I liked feeling like I held the power. Before my injury I felt really good about my running. I had just beat my best half marathon time at the L.A. 1/2 and I was running consistently. Even though I ran 2 half marathons after that one, I never felt as physically good, as I did for the L.A. one. First I got Pneumonia and then my knee injury.
When I found out that I couldn’t run the P.F.Changs Full Marathon just a couple of weeks before the race, it took whatever control I had left completely away. It was not a feeling that I liked at all. I tried to make the best of it. I mean what else can you do at that point?….
Anyway, 6 weeks later and here I am about to run 5 miles.
I wore my new Nike running jacket because it was cold outside and it’s suppose to rain. I loved the jacket by the way. It wasn’t thick and heavy. It’s really comfy and I never felt like I needed to take it off. I am very happy with it.
As we started our run I kept telling myself that everything would be okay. I mean it’s just a run. What is the worst that can happen?…we can just walk and come back if I did feel any pain.
Well we never had to do that 🙂
I felt great. I know why I run and want to do races. They are fun and all the hard work is worth it. Yes sometimes the first five minutes are like…grrr. But after I get started and get into my zone, I feel amazing. For the rest of the day I feel proud and accomplished. I missed having the control over how many miles I could do since I was limited for 2 mths. I know that I still have to take it easy and slowly get into it again but I know I still have the POWER. I have control over how I respond to different things. I could’ve called it quits after my injury but I didn’t. I did other things that I like. I went hiking A LOT. I kept going to the gym, took a dance class and went to PT. I didn’t have control over how many miles I could run but I took control over the attitude I was going to have.
I’m glad we have the 10k race next week. I know that morning I will be nervous again but I know that once we start, that feeling will go away. I’m excited. I look forward to getting back to where I was 2 months ago. Until then, I’m going to enjoy my shorter runs, hikes and even the gym 🙂